174. What do you do when there's too much to do? (f. Louise Miller)
Feeling overwhelmed? 😩You’re not alone, and this episode will help! Hosts Phil and Lauren meet with Louise Miller, a productivity expert who helps overwhelmed business owners get things done without burning out. Louise shares her tactics for finding order in chaos, prioritizing your tasks, creating a vision, and more. As one of our favorite episodes ever, you won’t want to miss this!
Episode transcription
Phil
Oh listener, you are gonna love this episode with Louise Miller. Oh my god, let me just say this is like therapy for us and I think it's gonna be the same for you. I have to tell you though she has this amazing freebie that will help you to hear big idea to inspired action. It's called A Powerful Planning Workbook for Small Business Owners with big ambition. I bet that's you go and check this out bettylouonline.com/brandtherapy This is one of the best freebies I think any of our guests on this podcast have had I have it. I've already started using it. And I definitely think you should check it out. Once again, that's bettylouonline.com/brandtherapy or this powerful planning workbook you're gonna love.
Phil
Well, hello there. Welcome to Brand Therapy. I am Phil
Lauren
And I'm Lauren.
Phil
And this is the podcast where we help you position, build and promote your brand. First of all, I should say welcome. I'm pretty glad you're here. Second of all, as I often say, but I really mean it today when I say that you picked a superstar episode to listen today. Because Lauren, we talk about all kinds of topics and things that interest us and excite us. Sometimes even after these conversations we leave and we have all of these ideas to implement. I know listener, you feel the same way. But let me just say this episode, this conversation could not come at a better time. Literally before we joined a zoom call with our brand new friend Louise, Lauren and I said, what we're talking about today is literally what we need to talk about. Because we feel a little overwhelmed. We both feel this. And I'm sure we'll get into some beautiful detail on this conversation the ways you're going to help us out. And we're just so happy that you're here with us on Brand Therapy and I have to read I feel like the best intro the best bio, the best. well, introduction to our audience is to read the single sentence that you have in your email signature, which says “helping you get stuff done with less stress and more ease.” Louise Miller, welcome to Brand Therapy. We're happy you're here.
Louise
Wow, what an incredible introduction. Thank you so much. It's so lovely to be with you both.
Phil
We need you. But my goodness, we are feeling the stress and the pressure. And I'm sure this is something you know, this is something your clients certainly feel talk us through a little bit more detail on what you do and how you help people.
Louise
I'm Louise Miller, and I work with really busy, successful business owners who want to run a really great business but without burning out. So generally speaking, the thing that my clients have in common is that they really want a business with all of the good F's. So they want a business that flows, that functions smoothly, that's financially flourishing, that's fulfilling, and that's fun. You know, they want the space to be creative and to enjoy the life they're creating for themselves. It's not just about their business. But the trouble is they've got so much that they're juggling, there's so much going on, they're struggling to hold everything in their heads on their own, that they want those good F's, but they're really overwhelmed. And they're often experiencing the bad F which is that they're frantic, frazzled, frustrated, sometimes frozen to the spot, you know, just generally really fed up.
So those feelings of overwhelm that you just described are very common in my clients. And this is where I help. So I really help my clients to find order in that chaos. I help them take everything that's going on for them, not just in their work, but in their lives. Because I think quite often people try and separate the two. And I don't think that always helpful. So I help them take everything that's going on all of their fabulous ideas and break all of that down so that it's really easy for them to take action on what's most important.
Phil
That is something that I think everyone needs. I feel like I need that. But really, it's it feels almost like a place of urgency right now for us, doesn't it Lauren? And I wonder, I don't know, I don't even know why.
Lauren
Well, I know I personally, I took one of the few trips that I've taken in like years, and for just a few days because I wanted to be in the sun around my birthday. And then immediate so already with that I was like treading water before that. But I was like, I'm gonna go down to LA for a bit bah, bah, bah. I come back and I'm, I get this the sickest I've ever been in my entire life. And it truly knocked me out for at least a week, but realistically about 10 days. I'm still coughing, still really, really sick.
And it was completely incapacitated. And Phil was so like understanding and forgiving during it. But I was already in a place of overwhelm. I mean, yeah, I don't get sick often, but I was already really overwhelmed, and then set back even further. And now I come back and I feel like 100,000 people are asking me for things and need help. And there's only one of me who can actually do the tasks that they need help with. And there's only 24 hours in a day. And so I'm in this place where it's very, very uncomfortable position to be in because the only line that I'm drawing is, I need to exercise and I need to sleep and I need to eat meals. That's the only line I'm drawing. And so I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. And that regard, I don't know about you Phil.
Phil
Yeah, I don't really have a lot to add. I mean, I think it's, I guess I'll do it quickly to the knee of the full picture. Louise, is it? It's been a year of like, I've said, Yes, I'll ask you too many times. And there are some really exciting life things. I won a big award in March. And Lauren came down twice this year for that, which is literally flying directly diagonally across North America, like literally the farthest distance. So that was that Lauren also?
I've said yes to a lot of things and things that I didn't realize were going to take so long and things that were fixed price, it means that I'm working for a lot less money than I should be, quite frankly. I've said yes to opportunities, like buying a house, across the street from my rental property to expand my, you know, rental investments, and that's dependent on other people delivering things by certain dates, and they're behind. It's a whole bunch of stress. And I said to Lauren, word for word this morning, everywhere I look, it's unfinished tasks, where I feel I'm probably letting someone down to what you just said. So yes, different situations to cause the same feeling. That's where we're at.
Louise
Okay, yeah. So I'm going to talk generally, first of all about what I think happened, if that's all right, you know, when we feel like we've got too much to do, yeah, and then we can see whether any of that helps. And if there's anything more, we can dive into off the back of that, then I'm very happy to do that.
So what I tend to see happens with people when they feel like they've got too much to do, whether that is because they're in a situation like both of you are with life happening, as we just said, and all of a sudden, there's a whole load of stuff you need to catch up with. Or it's just because you've got loads of ideas spinning around in your head, and you can't quite figure out what to do first, you know, we've all got that happening in our business. And we've got laundry to do, and family to take care of and all of that stuff.
What tends to happen with people when they're feeling in that state is that they try and go faster. And they think that the only way they're going to get it all done is to put their head down and just keep going. And actually, that's the worst thing that we can do. But our society rewards that relentless doing, gold stars, for when we take things off our list. So many people have got their self worth tied up in how much stuff they're taking off their to do list, which is so harmful, but so understandable in the culture that we live in. So, I hear it all the time, people telling me they want to go faster, because they think that's the only way through that overwhelm. When I hear people saying things like that, I know that actually what they need to do is the exact opposite. And they need to slow down. So we need to take a pause because it's only when we allow ourselves that moment of distance from what's going on in that pause, that we can get a sense of perspective. And we can start to see things more clearly.
Because you know, when you're in that frantic, frazzled, you know, I call it this sort of frantic and frazzled overwhelm loop where you're just spinning and spinning and spinning and you can't see your way out, you can't think straight, you can't make good decisions about where to focus. Then you end up trying to do all of the things all at once, which is never a good idea. Because it's not productive to be doing that. And it actually does more harm than good. So we need to slow down and just take a pause, take a step back.
And the very first thing I normally suggest that people do when they're feeling that is to once they've taken a break, and taken a breath, and just tried to calm their nervous system a little bit is to get real clarity on what it is that is actually on their plate. Because again, my own personal experience of this many, many years ago is that when I was feeling overwhelmed, it wasn't necessarily about the stuff I had to do. It was about not having a clear sense of what I had to do. And I was constantly frantically worrying and panicking, I was going to forget something, let someone down drop the ball somewhere.
So the very first thing I suggest people do is to gather everything in and go right what is it exactly? So for you, Lauren, what are all those things? Who are all those people? And to see that in black and white in front of you and trying to do that in a calm, considered way, which is why I suggest taking a pause and slowing down if you can.
Lauren
So we use Asana for everything. Yeah, which is great, but like I have 72 overdue Asana tasks, so in that scenario, when I can see everything, I will get out a pen and paper and just make a list of what I think is most important out of those things because I can't do 72 things in a day and just chip away. Help me Louise.
It’s funny you vocalize that because I was thinking oh, my god to take a pause and look and try and consider all the things for me that would be logging into Asana, but there's more red overdue tasks than green.
Louise
Yeah, no, there is that that isn't just looking at all and you'll instantly feel better actually, what often happens is look at it all and you'll instantly feel worse. So there is that kind of. And it sounds like you're both in that already, there's this point of having the awareness. So for people who are listening, who may not have the awareness that you've got looking at it, or first, it's not going to instantly make you feel better, but it's going to allow you to see what actually is going on. So that you can start to make some decisions. And it's in making those decisions that you then start to feel better.
So one thing that I noticed a lot is we're all very good at adding things to our to do list, but we're not so good at taking things off. So the very first thing I would be suggesting is, perhaps before you even start looking at, okay, what's most important is actually what's least important. Ah,is there anything here I can completely let go of? Is there anything here that I can delegate? Do I need to do all of this, or can I outsource and get some help. Because then you can start hopefully spotting some things you can let go of. And actually, you know, in your, in your situation, it might be that that means going back to one of those people who's waiting to hear from you and explaining the situation to them, because they're a human being as well. They will understand what's going on, and be really open and honest. And get yourself a bit of breathing space, see if you can extend the deadline, all that kind of stuff.
Most of the time, in my experience, human beings are very understanding people, and will appreciate you being honest with them about that, rather than wondering why they're not hearing from you. And feeling like you're ghosting them. I'm not suggesting you're doing this, Lauren, but for people that are listening, and you know that just an example again, of of us putting things on our lists and not taking them off.
I have a course about to do lists. And somebody on that course a couple of years ago, had something on her to do list that had been there for three years. And someone had asked her to do it three years ago, had never mentioned it again. And she's been carrying that thing around with her for that long. And it's been making her feel guilty. And like she's failing for three years, until I gave her permission to let that go. And she felt so much better afterwards.
So letting go, whether that is just going to note well that was important when I wrote it down. It's not important anymore. It's not aligned with my goals. Now, it's not aligned with where I'm trying to get to. This person wanted that thing. They've not mentioned it again, let's just let it go. That I think is where you start to feel better.
Lauren
I love that. I love that. And I also love the idea of looking at your list of what's least important. And I would never, ever think to do that.
Louise
And because it just really gives you this feeling of relief of like, okay, maybe it's not as bad as I thought it was. And like I say, when you take the pause, and you slow down and you allow yourself because this takes time, right, so this is why I talk about slowing down, you can't just do that in five minutes,
I tend to suggest rocking out a chunk of time making a nice cup of tea, because I'm in England, and that's what we do, and sitting really quietly and calmly, and just being with it and making those decisions without feeling like oh, but I've got to get this done in the next 10 minutes because I've got to go and do X, Y and Z thing, because you won't be accessing your best thinking when you're in that brain space.
LaUREN
Yeah, I remember one of our clients said, she's an executive coach, and one of our clients said that a lot of the challenges that her clients have is knowing when to be working on the business versus for the business. And I feel like Phil, you and I are always working for the business 100%
Phil
Yeah, for me to work on the business, it ends up being this like giant campaign with unrealistic deadlines, once a year. Like updating our website, or launching courses. It's very hard for me to do it gradually, because there's only two of us where, you know, there's not a ton of people to do everything, which could be a challenge in itself. But everything you're saying is making me sigh and get a bit more clarity, by the way. This is so good.
Lauren
Yeah, thank you.
Louise
And you've just segwayed quite beautifully there into something I wanted to say, which is what I was writing down so I didn't forget, either. In response to you saying that there's been lots that you've been saying yes to saying yes to all of these opportunities, which again, I think when we're really excited about our work, and we want to be reaching more people and being fabulous in a bigger way, it's very easy to just keep saying yes to everything, without giving ourselves the space to go hang on a minute, is this. I don't wanna use the word sensible. That sounds really boring. But it is what it is this is in alignment with what I'm actually trying to achieve right now. And do I have the capacity for this?
And asking those sorts of questions first, doesn't mean you have to say no. But it means that if you say yes to that thing, you've already got a sense of what's going on and what you might need to say no to in order to commit fully and to do as good a job on that thing as you want to if that. Does that make sense? So, you know, I do monthly planning sessions in my membership, and we gather together every month and I always say just because we're creating this plan now doesn't mean you have to beat yourself around the head with it if an opportunity comes up that you want to say yes to, by all means, say yes to it, but what are you not going to do?
And you can then again, the power of doing planning really regularly is that you can see what it was that you thought was important when you wrote that plan. And then when something else comes up, you can go, okay, this thing over here that has just crossed my desk, is this as important, more important, you know, you can make that judgment.
Lauren
Oh my gosh, what you're saying really strikes a chord with me, because I'm just realizing now that I don't really consider that there are always going to be requests for proposals, new business inquiries, brand audit recaps that need to be put together, estimates that need to be made. I don't ever consider the time that's going to take out of the week in comparison to my other to do lists. And so whenever inquiries come in, those always end up taking first priority, because you want to be getting money into the business. But I could be doing a better job of anticipating in advance that time and even carving out a half day or whatever, every week just to be working on new business.
Louise
Absolutely. Yeah.
Lauren
Anyway, that's like an epiphany,
Louise
Thinking in that way, in terms of, you know, what are all those activities that need to happen for your business to carry on running smoothly? And for you to grow in the way that you want to? And, you know, how are you protecting space for those things? So that when those opportunities land, you don't start getting resentful and thinking, Well, I haven't got time, because that's not the energy we want to bring to that stuff. Is it?
Lauren
Yeah, yeah, it feels like we're pitching services for a time that we don't when we don't have time to do those services. So it's kind of like a chicken before the egg thing. Because obviously, you want income to be coming in, and you want to be moving fast to secure new business, but then I feel like it just kind of adds, it bumps everyone else who's waiting down, which isn't fair, and adds to my complex of letting people down. I guess.
Phil
Also this idea that when you say yes to something, also consider what you're going to have to say no to because there's only so many minutes in the day. And that's something I don't think enough about. And that's something I'm going to start thinking more about. Because I'll give an example, I agreed to create a course with a partner, and I'm enjoying the process. It's taking way longer than I wanted to, but I'm going to be really proud of the final result reiterates the positives, the positive outcome of this. But I didn't think about the fact that it's actually going to limit my output on my YouTube channel. I cannot post two videos a week right now, which is what I'm used to doing in a normal month, I just can't do it. I can't do both. And so that's a sacrifice, I really actually should have thought through when I said yes,
Louise
And you may have still made the same decision, but at least you will have made that decision. And it will have been a choice that you're not going to post as often on your YouTube channel, rather than you then feeling like somehow you're failing, because you're not managing to do all of the things. Even though you know, as Lauren said, at the start, there's one of you and 24 hours in the day. And again, you've said a couple of times, Phil as well about things taking longer than you thought that they would. And that, again, is why I think slowing down is so powerful, because when we allow ourselves the pause, and we do it regularly, you actually start to clock that stuff. And you notice, you allow yourself the time to notice and you go, oh, actually, next time something like that comes along, I'm going to have a better idea of how long it's going to take. And I will have a more realistic expectation of timeframes I'm giving myself and other people so that I'm not feeling so frantic and frazzled. But if we just keep our heads down, you know, as I said earlier, and just keep trying to push through, we never sort of do all of that learning, and build that kind of self awareness. So slowing down is the key, I think, allowing yourself to pause often.
Lauren
Do you have any recommendations for plotting out your commitments and where your time is gonna go in the future? And I'll give context behind that. When we do an estimate for our project? I'll say it'll be this many hours. And we can turn it around within a week. But I don't actually look at the calendar to see where those hours are gonna go and what's on our plate and what maybe needs to what pause time we need before we can actually start that. I just go yeah, here's the prepayment invoice, like excited to work with you and just kind of scramble and figure it out. Obviously, I know that there must be some way to actually plot out what's coming up. And maybe it's calendar blocking. I don't know. Could you talk about that?
Louise
Totally. And you're not on your own with that as well. And so I had a client a few years ago who used to do that all the time, she would have a call with a potential client and just go yep, I can have that to you by teatime you know, without looking to see what she was actually doing.
Lauren
Service with a smile.
Louise
Again, because you want us to, you know, we all really want to help people. And that is such a gift, but it can also be our downfall. So yeah, and then she would come to me going, I don't know how, what have I done what have I committed myself to? And I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but my advice to her will be the same as what I'd say to you. It's about giving yourself that moment of pause to think and just check in with yourself and it takes practice and sometimes it takes a visual reminder having it somewhere when your screen if you're doing a call like this where you can, you know, you're you're on your computer, just to take that pause and whether you choose to take the pause before you speak to the person, particularly if you've got an idea of what it is that you're going to be talking to them about, you could go into that conversation having already looked at timescales. So you've got an idea in your head, or whether you give yourself the pause in the conversation and just say, let me just check my availability and give yourself a moment.
Or you could say I have to get back to you on timeframes. But in terms of how you actually kind of manage that, I think the simplest way is just to use a calendar, and to block out the time when you're going to be working on specific projects in your calendar. And just quite often creative people will get a bit freaked out when I say that to them, because they start to feel like that's going to hem them in. And it's very strict, because they just want to do what they feel like doing, which I completely understand. So what I always say is putting the blocks in allows you to see how much time you've committed, you're not saying you actually have to do the thing in that time, you can move those chunks of time around, what you shouldn't do is delete them. Because that's when you then have a problem. But if you've got those chunks of time in, you can move them around to work with how you're feeling and your energy and stuff if you'd like to.
Lauren
Yeah, because I now I'm thinking that maybe what we could do, Phil, so we track everything in a service called Everhour, down to the minute. so we've got the data of how long things take even new business like leads and intro calls and things like that. I wonder, Phil, if we could look back at last year, and see really how many hours were spent towards new business, how many hours were spent towards content, how many hours were spent towards all the different things and use that to block out our week and see realistically how much time there is available to do the work that was promised to people.
Phil
Instead of this kind of frantic energy to get people in and get them going. And then we're like, Oh, my God, but there's things that we need to do for the people that we've already gotten in the door.
Lauren
And you know, if you apply the idea I was sharing earlier about letting go of things. Is there anything in there where you're going, actually, why are we doing this, this could be outsourced to someone else. And then we'd have more time and space for the things we love to do and that we're really great at, you might start to spot things like that as well.
Do you have any recommendations when it comes to outsourcing because people on our team like contractors who are really, really great at what they do, like really, really great and really specific, but for more vague projects that require like creativity in the sense of writing, for example, which I'm very particular about, I find it really, really challenging to manage someone and coach them. And I end up finding that it takes me as much time if not more time, when I could have just done it for my myself in the beginning, which I know is not a good attitude. But do you have any recommendations on actually outsourcing your to do list in a way that's effective?
Louise
I think it always comes from a place of starting from what do you need to be doing. So knowing what you don't want to let go of and what you do want to let go of, I think that piece that you said about the time it takes to hand over stuff and train somebody up to get your tone of voice, if it's writing and all of that kind of stuff, it does take time, it is an investment of time as well as money. And I think if you find the right person, that investment is worth it. Because once they've got it, they've got it.
Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that I found around finding that right person. If you're really clear on what you need. And as specific as you can be around what you're looking for. I would always suggest starting with asking for recommendations from people. So who's in your network that has that similar sort of support, who would they recommend. But there's never going to be a case of just handing something over and they run with it immediately.
It is a tricky one. And I've just been working with someone in my membership who's been trying to get a VA, she's wanted a VA for a couple of years now. And she's literally just started working with someone now because it is really hard to start letting go of some of the control that as business owners, we love. Our business is a reflection of ourselves and allowing someone else in on that can be really difficult. So it does, it can be a bit of a mindset thing as well. And it is quite vulnerable sometimes too so I think going into it with that awareness sometimes can be helpful in itself.
Lauren
Amazing. Now, when it comes to tackling your to do list, do you recommend evaluating what needs to be done on a daily basis? Or a weekly basis? Where would you begin with something like that?
Louise
So what I normally suggest that people do is first thing that we always want to start from his vision. So knowing what your vision is, that's absolutely key and then looking at what your goals are. So always assuming that you have clarity around those two things before we even start. I think it's really helpful to decide on an aim for your quarter. So what's your goal, what's your aim for the quarter, and then break that down, month by month. So at the start of every month, this is what we do in my make it happen club, we come together, we do a planning session for the month ahead. And then every week what I suggest people do is that they look at that plan and decide okay, they look at their diary. Always, always do your planning with your diary in front of you, please, if that's the one thing you take away from this, sit with your diary whether you do that on a Friday as you're ending your week so you can land into Monday feeling really clear about what you're doing some you'd like to do it on a Sunday, again, so they can land on Monday knowing what they're doing, or you can do on a Monday morning.
But just looking at what you'd got on your plan for the month figuring out what you're going to do during that week, the main priorities for that week, and then I recommend every day just sitting down and writing, okay, what am I going to do today, but only doing that one day at a time. So I'm not saying sit down on Monday and plan out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, because I think when we do that, particularly if you don't have a strong handle on how long things take, sometimes you can get to the end of Monday, you've not done half the things on your list. And if you've then got a list for Tuesday waiting for you, you already feel like you're failing, and you have to start again. So planning one day at a time. I suggest three main priorities for a day no more than that, that can really help with focus as well. And just repeating that cycle. So a monthly plan, weekly plan and then every day getting really clear on what are the three key things you want to achieve that day.
Lauren
For those three main things? Do you have a recommendation with the order? Like do you recommend eating the frog and doing the biggest one that you dread the most? First?
Louise
I think it really depends on the person. To be honest, you know, a lot of people will say the thing that feels the most challenging. Yeah, eat the frog, get that out of the way first, or the thing that is going to be the most impactful for you and your business get that done first. But for some people, they're not at their best in the mornings. So this is again, where knowing yourself is really important. If you're not a morning person and you're half asleep until lunchtime, it's going to take you twice as long to Eat That Frog, because you're going to be half asleep. So knowing your own kind of rhythms and your own energy levels is really important to that as well. Sometimes I suggest that people do what I like to call a small thing quick wins. So something that's been bugging them for ages, it's going to take literally 10 minutes to do knock that out of the park before you do anything else. And you can carry that smug sense of satisfaction with you for the rest of the day. And that can really keep your momentum going. So it really just depends.
Phil
That's such a good idea. Okay, you've given us so many gems and so many just awesome little tidbits that I feel better Lauren, do you feel better? I feel better from this conversation. This was such a good use of time today in my list of to do's I'm happy that this was on my to do list because I needed this today. Louise, how can people get more of you tell us how even a little bit of how your business works? You've got courses people can work with you one on one paint the picture for us? How can people access you?
Louise
I have I've already mentioned it a couple of times, I've got my membership, which is called Make It Happen Club. And that's where kind of busy business owners come together. Those sorts of people who know they should be doing this stuffut when they left to their own devices, you know, struggle to lift their heads about the weeds. So we gather together every month and every quarter to do planning sessions. They have their plan in their hand by the end of the session. It's a really quiet, gentle, calm space. There's no distractions. There's not masterminding it's not networking, because again, I think that can be really distracting for people, because then you start getting all that, oh, what's that person over there doing an all book over there. So make it happen. For him. It's very much a quiet space for people to focus on what's important to them, so that they can create plans to move them forward. And I blooming well love it. It's awesome.
And yeah, I do work with private clients as well. So that's for people that are a little bit more established in their business. And it's kind of a bespoke partnership with my clients where you know, I'm sort of the left brain to their right brain. So we talk through their ideas, everything that's stressing them out all the stuff that they're juggling, we'll look at that capacity, we just plan what's coming up, make sure that they have the time, the headspace the energy to bring everything to life, so that they can start taking action and moving forward without that kind of overwhelmed, frantic brain.
So yeah, that's kind of how I work with people. But as a first step, I have a free workbook that's a powerful planning workbook. I love a bit of alliteration. So I have a powerful planning workbook that guides you through a really gentle, spacious planning process, so that you can get really clear on what you're aiming to achieve, and then take consistent action to making that happen. And if you want a copy of that, you can go to bettylouonline.com/brandtherapy, and you'll find that workbook there for you. Or come find me on LinkedIn.
Phil
Okay. We're gonna find you on LinkedIn. We're gonna download this amazing workbook that I'm also telling listeners about the very few seconds of this episode. You have been amazing. I feel like you've given us therapy today on Bfrand Therapy, and we just appreciate you Louise. Thank you.
Louise
Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure.
LaUREN
Thank you so much.
