191. What do you do if you're a workaholic? (f. Dr. Sundra Ryce Hardy)
Wishing you could take a vacation without compromising business results? 🏖️ This episode will teach you how! We meet with leadership speaker Dr. Sundra Ryce Hardy to hear her wisdom about self-care and leadership. We talk about the double-edged sword of entrepreneurship, why it’s important to take time off, how to delegate, and much more!
Episode transcription
Phil
Wish you could take a day off but you don't know how?
Lauren
Feeling guilty whenever you aren't working?
Phil
Wondering how to practice self care as an entrepreneur?
Lauren
Then you're going to love our episode with leadership expert, Dr. Sundra Ryce Hardy.
Phil
Let's dive right in.
Lauren
Alright listeners, we're so excited about our guest today. Welcome to brand therapy. Dr. Sundra.
Dr. Sundra
Thank you.
Lauren
So excited to have you here, Phil. and I were just ruminating on all the different possible angles for this episode, because you're an expert in so many different facets of leadership and business. But we decided that it's going to be most helpful for our listeners if we talk about what to do if you're a workaholic. So I'm really excited for you to share your wisdom on that topic. Before we get into it, could you please give an overview of kind of who you are and what you specialize in and what your whole purpose is, in terms of your specialties?
Dr. Sundra
Yes, absolutely. I am so happy to be here. I'm Sundra Ryce Hardy and I am a motivational speaker, and an organizational leadership advisor aqnd I empower leaders to practice self care to maximize business results and life results. So that's who I am. That's what I do. And I love leaders. I'm a stand for leaders. You talked about, you know, what do you do when you're burned out or if you're dealing with workaholism, which a lot of us deal with on a daily basis and have been dealing with for years. And so I love to actually work with leaders regarding how to implement self care to make sure that we are being our best at everything that we do.
I've been in business for almost 30 years now. And I started out as a contractor, working as a general contractor, I had my own company for almost 25 years. And actually I still have my company, but I started out 25 years doing that, I've now shifted because I've actually been in the leadership development space and organizational leadership space. I have my doctorate organizational leadership. And I found over the years, you know, being that I'm a speaker and I speak all around the world and people bring me in because I have such a unique background, being in development and construction, I came across so many burned out leaders, so many workaholics, people who were up to great things and big things, but they weren't really maximizing and living life fully. I'm living life, you know, as a human, but not just as their business or leaders in their organizations. And so from that construction background, the last 10 years, I've been speaking again, all over the world. And now I'm doing consulting for organizations, because I was once the burned out leader in construction, I was always doing things in terms of being a CEO, and I am a CEO. So here I am now with you all trying to help leaders, you know, make it happen and be great in this next level of their living.
Lauren
Now, I know you're super accomplished from our brand audit session that we did, where we got to dive in and into your history and your working history. But just so that the listeners know, this isn't some like small construction company of two people. Your LinkedIn says and tell me if this is correct. Your LinkedIn says that you've built over $500 million worth of construction projects in the US.
Dr. Sundra
Yeah, just a little something something in the US. Yes. Over the last years. Yes. So yes, I've been in business and actually just even saying that you can, you know, as a person, as a CEO, as a leader, you can hear where that could cause you know, some workaholism and burnout, you know, along the way, you know, doing big projects, working with, you know, huge companies making things happen being a builder. And so, yes, that is true, that is true.
Lauren
So, I feel like there's kind of this like, double edged sword to entrepreneurism, is that no to entrepreneurship is entrepreneurism a word.
Phil
I like it, let's make it a word.
Lauren
But we become business owners, we start businesses because we want freedom, really freedom to bring like our ideas to life and make a difference in other people's lives. But at the same time, I feel like when you are a business owner, you kind of don't get your freedom because you're your own boss, and you're the worst boss in the world kind of thing. And so could you sort of just walk through maybe your experience with working all the time and experiencing burnout because of that?
Dr. Sundra
Yes, absolutely. And you're right in terms of how we show up in our businesses and why we show up. And a lot of times we also show up because we want to solve something for people. We have a gift We have a unique ability, we have a talent, and we want to use that to help people, you know, in our respective areas of leadership. So we start out with that charge and with that amazing assignment, and then we start our journey of working, I started my journey of working, and I was 21 years old when I started my first construction company. And, you know, I was really excited, I was excited about being an entrepreneur excited about the field excited about being a woman in construction. So I had, you know, a uniqueness there. And I think that caused me Lauren to really work really hard. Because, you know, you want to prove yourself, you want to prove that you're a great business, you know, and that takes time and effort and energy. And what I did is like, just worked pretty much nonstop to build this business. And as I was working, it started to grow. I started experiencing business growth, I started experiencing more clients and bigger projects. And that took more of my figuring out how do I juggle blast balls, I also had a family and still do, thank goodness, yeah. But you know, I had a family. And at that time, when I started the young family, and I had a lot of glass balls, a lot of important things, a lot of priorities that I had to juggle on top of being a CEO, being a leader, and it took my time, my sleep, it took away from all those things that are important, you know, and self care and important to important for longevity, which is, you know, the bottom line sustainability, because not only do we want to be successful, but we don't want to experience burnout, and then have to end our career or end or you know what I mean, or switch to something that, you know, doesn't work for us.
So, yes, we start with freedom, we want freedom, and we want enjoyment, but we really have to be careful. And that's why I talk a lot about implementing self care practices, and making sure that we take care of ourselves as leaders, a lot of my work that for most of my work is who takes care of the leader that takes care of everybody else.
lauren
I love that you brought up how we are often rewarded for working non stop with more business, more clients, more opportunities.
phil
And but it feels like that's the ecosystem we live in. Yeah, isn't it? I mean, yes, I see a total difference when I go over to Europe, which, by the way, is a place where they ridicule the American system, the obsession with work, the obsession with spending your weekends, you know, working catching up, and it's true. That's what I do here. When I'm in Europe, I certainly don't.
Lauren
But I guess my question is, for someone when you're rewarded for working all the time, how can someone feel okay with taking time off for themselves? And by someone kind of meaning me.
phil
You're definitely meaning you you feel guilty when you take time off.
Lauren
I do feel guilty when I take time off. And so I guess what are your practical or systematic solutions? Should everyone have a VA? Should everyone set up systems? How can you take time off without compromising your bottom line? I guess is my question.
Dr. Sundra
Yes, first of all, let me address those said, there is an ecosystem in the US that we live by, and it is real. And you're right, Lauren, we get rewarded for the harder we work because the harder we work, the better we do. The more clients you know, the more grow the more development and those things are very rewarding. So let's just be honest about that. And well most of us, I won't say all we all probably enjoy. Yeah, those benefits and the rewards that come with that, that and that is okay.
But I think we're getting to the point where we want to talk about like, you're saying, what are the strategies that we can implement so that we can maintain our freedom and still enjoy our lives and enjoy what we do who we are, you know, what we're up to, whether it's family, or travel, and what that looks like.
And so the first thing I would say is we need to give ourselves permission to just say yes to the fact that it's okay, it's okay to implement self care and make sure that I as the owner or I as the leader, or myself, as the entrepreneur, I am taking care of first when you get on a plane, what do they tell us? You know, I fly a lot put if something happens, there's plane or you know, the pressure in the air cabin, something happens to it, and the masks come down, put your mask on first before helping others right. Because you know, if you look at the research of that, if something happens and you try to help somebody else, you can go unconscious. And then you have two people unconscious. So let's take that into our leadership world, you know, and to our brands and what we do. We need to put our masks on first we need to take care of ourselves. We need to say yes to who we are. Yes. To ask the guest to meet yes to myself, and we don't have enough of those conversations, Lauren, Phil, we don't have enough of those conversations to say it's okay to take care of me. Because it's like, you know, sometimes you have to be selfish.
And that is a concept that is frowned upon when you talk about it too much to be selfish. Yes. But we're talking about in terms of the selfishness or self care so that we can be better people for the world for our organizations for what we're up to in life.
Phil
One thing I think about is like, are we ever going to see a rebound from this? I'm wondering if we're starting to see that. I mean, now, you know, for a while it was all about the hustle. And now that's like the H word. In fact, Gary Vee was associated with that word. And he's come out multiple times in multiple interviews and said, hey, wait a second, you push that, you know, you took that word that I said in the keynote, and turned it into something that I'm actually not a believer in, you need a work life balance. And and that term is like, almost evolving, right? So I wonder are we going to see a rebound from this? Are we starting to see a rebound from this as people really struggle with, like, health and balance and, you know, the result of this?
Dr. Sundra
Yes, absolutely. And I think especially after COVID, all of our lives have been disrupted over the last, you know, three years, three plus years, I think that we're now seeing the open door for the rebound. I think there is an opening for that. And that is why I'm here, and I'm doing this work. And that's why we're talking today, because I think there is something to innovate from the disruption that has happened. And the disruption that is that, you know, constantly happens and shifts in our lives, you know, as leaders, as entrepreneurs, as leading organizations being executives. So I think that there is a rebound happening.
You know, I've been talking to people, leaders and organizations very recently, because I do a lot of work with Pepperdine University, and we have a leadership certificate program that in partnership with them. And one of the things that I've been talking about, as I'm talking to other organizations, one of the main topics that continues and themes that continue to come up with talking to leaders, organizations, CEOs, you know, very recently, you know, really, in the last few months of what I'm up to, with, you know, working with leaders and certificate programs with Pepperdine University, etc, is that these organizations are saying, you know, we've not seen anything like this. This kind of whole concept of executive well being and leadership well being, we haven't heard this, even what the hopefully finishing up of COVID. They're like, we've never heard these topics before, in such a way that, you know, they're being discussed now. So, when we talk about rebound, I think there's such an open door right now for how we can implement self care and leadership care, and making sure that we are our best selves as leaders first in the world today.
Lauren
So specifics in terms of like how to actually make this happen. So we've identified we're on the verge of burnout, we've put on our own oxygen mask and our kinder to ourselves and are saying, okay, I need to start doing something other than working, then what?
Dr. Sundra
Then you have to create a strategy, a plan, you have to have a leadership plan, and that I do a lot around leadership work. You know, you could visit my website, www drsundra.com. That's when you have to come in with your intentional strategic leadership plan. And I have some technology around that, where we really look at, okay, what is the architecture of my life? What do I need to reconstruct? You know, I really, I tap into my background and construction, because it's so relevant actually, to rebuilding and when you are ready to go to the next level, and all of us have a next. You know, it's just like, when you're burned out, you're at the end of the road, but we're here to inspire you and encourage, for you to know and understand that there is a next for you.
And we are here we are to push you into that place. So you have to look at number one, what is the architecture? What do I need to intentionally design for the future? The next steps? What do I need to do? How do I need to step into that? How do I prioritize that so that I can make sure that I am intentional and that I can actually move into my big, hairy, audacious goal. A lot of times I find out with leaders that we have so many things that so many ideas, so many creative ideas, so many business ideas, and some of those get blocked and they get you know, it's like, you know, it could be a train wreck, you know, you you have so many ideas and they just like fumble all up together and then then it's like okay, what do I do now? So we really help with getting clarity around what is next and prioritizing and then taking the necessary steps to make it happen.
lauren
Awesome. Now, do you have any advice on delegating obviously, to grow your business to the way that you have, and to also be able to manage your own self care as a leader? You must be really good at delegating. Right?
Dr. Sundra
I am.
lauren
So give us the details.
phil
I am not.
lauren
We're not. Although we're getting better.
phil
Let's give ourselves credit, yeah.
Dr. Sundra
Give yourself a credit, get it together. And number one, would you identify when you're able to identify the fact that hey, I need to delegate hey, I need to look at how do I share this low. Because the thing is, there are so many I learned early in business, there are so many people who do so many wonderful things. And sometimes it makes you the smartest person in the room when you have a lot of smart people around you. So that has kind of been my strategy, around business having really great people who are really skilled at doing what needs to be done within the organization.
And so I believe in hiring or working with or, you know, however that looks, it can look like, you know, contracting out to people who have the skills, I don't have to do everything. And I had to accept that and decide that. And that allowed me to really scale my companies over the years, because I hired people were smarter than me. And to me, that made me the smartest person in the room.
So that's important, it's important to delegate, to realize that, again, you don't have to do everything, and that there are people who love to do what you do, and what you're trying to do. And who could do you know, for example, they can do something in 15 minutes, and then they take two days. So right there, there's time. And years ago, I read a book by and it's an older book by Mary Kay Ash, she's the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. And she talked about this was probably 20 years ago, and 25 years ago when I read this book, but it really helped me as an entrepreneur, because she talked about the delegation of our time. You know, she's like, I can't say for example, I can't like spend 10 hours cleaning my home, when that 10 hours can be used for you know, brainpower for strategizing or intentions. Or, I'm trying to do laundry when I get send it out to the dry cleaners, for example. And they can do it, because they're the experts. And that takes four hours off my list. So for those who need to balance, but because that's the work life balance is real.
phil
Yeah, that's a really good point.
lauren
I love that perspective.
Yeah, well, Lauren, you say the same thing about food.
LAUREN
I do. I don’t like being in the kitchen, cooking doesn't bring me joy. And if I'm working a lot, and it's been a really, really like long, exhausting day, I would much rather be relaxing or reading or doing something else than spending 45 minutes cooking. And so I don't feel any guilt getting like delivery or getting groceries delivered or anything I don't. Because if we think about the value of my time per hour, it just doesn't make sense for me to spend time doing something that I don't like if I'm not working.
Dr. Sundra
So Lauren just listen to yourself. Listen to what you just said, you answered your own question. I can also translate that exactly what you said, how do we translate that into our entrepreneurship? And to everything that we're up to? How do we translate that to say, you know what, no, I don't feel guilty because I'm not good at this. There's somebody who can deliver this food, who can deliver it and pick it up for me, and there's a whole entire system and ecosystem, a company who has that brand and that strategy. So let's look at that. How do we translate that so that we can live our best lives so that we can enjoy our lives so we can care for ourselves and bring our best to our organizations?
lauren
Love it. Love it? What do you do for your own self care practice out of curiosity?
phil
I wanted to know that too.
That's like the favorite question that everybody asked to be on interviews like, Well, what do you do?
phil
Well, you don't have to give us the details. If you've got this all figured out. Tell us your secrets. What do you do?
Dr. Sundra
Well, first of all, though, I will say this as we started talking in the beginning, it is a practice. We talked about self care is a practice. It's just like you have to be intentional about it every day. Do I fall off the wagon? Yes, I just had a meeting with my team last night and we were all talking about how I'm just going to be honest, how exhausted we were and how exhausted they are. Because we're doing many different things, juggling programs, you know, setting up speaking all over the country doing things and everybody's like, I'm traveling, I'm doing this that I said, hey, hey team, you know, we teach this right?
We have to be intentional and it's a practice everyday we have to show up every day with that. Yes. And so for me, Phil, I love to travel travel is my as one of the things that I do even if it's getting away for a day or a weekend. A staycation, you know really pulling myself out of the environment and giving myself a chance to my brain a chance to relax, have a pause. A piece of Sailor moment where we're just saying, Okay, let me stop and let me care for myself.
And then I love the spa, the spa, the spa, the spa. If you ever want to get a gift for me, it's the spa, everybody in my life knows that don't send me here, there and everywhere. I love the spa, because I like the time to just a rejuvenate, to, you know, pull back and where I can just have quiet moments because my life is so busy. And it's been so demanding. So those are two major things, I would do a get away even hateful even if I can get to Europe. It I don't have much time. I try to do that. Or if I can't do that I can do a staycation. You know a lot, we have a lot of great cities around us, all of us. And you know, there, there are ways that you can get away and do things like that. So those are my kind of two big things that I can do if I need to. So those are two of my best practices.
lauren
I feel like Phil yours are similar.
phil
Mine are similar. Yep. I like picking a weekend or just getting a trip in the calendar. Sometimes I find it stressful a few days before, because maybe I'm not quite, I haven't quite gotten ready for it or wrapped up projects and stuff before. But then when I'm on it, I'm like, Oh, thank God, even if it's just a day or two, just to like get away from my desk. One of the funny things I live in Florida, but I've never used the pool here or no, sorry, I've used the pool twice in a year. And I've never used the hot tub. And it's free. It's sitting right over there. And yet when I'm gone somewhere else, Mexico, wherever I love time to do those things. But I don't use them when they're sitting here because it doesn't feel responsible for me to be there instead of here in front of my desk. So it's so funny that it requires being physically displaced, to actually, you know, take advantage of those things. Yes,
Dr. Sundra
Yes and I think that's true as well. Because that's that's my experience a lot of times. But one of my practice is to is to try to, like you said, try to look at you know, throughout my day or throughout my week, you know, if I'm not traveling, how can I intentionally make myself go to the beach or to the pool? You know, how do I take time, as the thing is, why do you feel guilty? I know, well, we've worked together, the three of us for my brand, one of my biggest takeaways was when you all told me like, wow, Sundra, you're up to living life on your own terms. You actually articulated that I didn't realize it in those words, but we can actually create and have life on our own terms. Who says we can't? Why don't we do that?
You know, we help other people do that. But why don't we do that. So I love when you all brought that to me that was one of m my biggest takeaways, my glorious victories from our brand at working together on my brand is yeah, living life and doing life and doing business on my own terms with that level of freedom. And that level of intentionality. You know, we're not imposters, I'm not an imposter. You're not an impostor. So listen, we just show up. We can be CEOs, we can be bosses, and we can make the decisions about our lives so that we can be powerful influencers and continue to have that, you know, get to the top of the mountain and have that victory and not be you know, laid out. Exhausted.
phil
Amen that's the note. That's the note right there that we want to leave on because that is just inspiring, empowering, and exciting. You mentioned your website, where else can people just find you and get a piece of you?
Dr. Sundra
So yes, you can get a piece of me definitely from my website, drsundra.com. And also, I'm on LinkedIn. And it's Sundra Ryce Hardy, and I'm on Facebook, and I'm also on Instagram, so you can reach me there. I love to because I love leaders. Again, I'm a Stanford leader. So you can always find some great inspiration if you go on my social media. And if you go on my website, you can also click on my social media, you can sign up for my newsletter or my inspiring tips on my website. And you can always get a piece of being here for me and I would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what you all are up to.
lauren
Fantastic. Well, thank you so much. This has been so enlightening. I've inspired to take tonight off. Yeah, don't feel guilty and not feel guilty about it.
phil
Don't feel guilty about it. Yeah, thanks for hanging out with us on Brand Therapy.
Thank you so much, Sundra. That was awesome. The spa sounds nice. Listener, I hope that you got some takeaways from this and you're inspired to take some action on maybe how you can wind down or just take a take a breath and avoid working too hard. If you enjoyed this episode, you know what to do. Leave us a review five star five star that helps other people discover this podcast and we work hard to create for you. And you know the drill. We will be back next week with a brand new episode. Thank you so much for spending your time with us. We really appreciate it. We'll see you here next week on Brand Therapy.
